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Jihad [Expose] Below are the 30 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Lawless" journal:

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October 21st, 2010
10:38 pm
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home, home again... i like to be here when i can
So it's been a while... I read back on my past entries and I compare myself now, and you know what? Not much seems that different... but I miss this journal. Life is pretty much on the road now, i see to have fled away from my old, trapped, secretive, tortured life in a sense that I am always staring at a highway... a pretty much physical escape.
I miss writing in this journal, recording my life though it is so self-absorbed. One day soon ima get back to it. Everyone needs an escape... Hell, who am I kidding, ima probably end up in jail.

Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: time- pink floyd

(You sawGo Beyondit all)

January 14th, 2010
01:31 am
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Wreckage inside, all that's real, another bought product, no reality.

Current Mood: guilty
Current Music: MM

(You sawGo Beyondit all)

January 6th, 2010
08:08 pm
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A peice of myself has fallen off and is never coming back.

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: echoplex-nine inch nails

(You sawGo Beyondit all)

December 12th, 2009
02:10 am
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HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!
QUESTION EVERYTHING.

Current Mood: shocked

(You sawGo Beyondit all)

May 28th, 2009
02:56 pm
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I am the master of long ass sentences.

FRIENDS ONLY
duh............

Current Location: work
Current Mood: content
Current Music: otep

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

April 13th, 2009
11:20 pm
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"You bring about the stick, We bring about the confusion,
Bring about the solution, Bring about the fusion,
Bring about the collusion, Bring about revolution,
Bring about revolution, Bring it about."

Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: Serj Tankian

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

February 25th, 2009
06:03 pm
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I am loving you more and more the times we are together
 

I took this picture.

Current Location: outside the apartment
Current Mood: content

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

January 24th, 2009
12:43 pm
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You better vote...and vote right
 

Current Location: home
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: SOAD

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

October 1st, 2008
08:59 pm
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creepy love ;)

 

http://www.fat-pie.com/salad8.htm

Current Location: room
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: MSI- Harry Truman

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

September 27th, 2008
01:26 am
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Full moon tonight

Current Location: home
Current Mood: artistic

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

September 19th, 2008
03:25 pm
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Current Location: room
Current Mood: complacent
Current Music: mud

(You sawGo Beyondit all)

October 22nd, 2007
09:59 pm
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And then I remember that my life is NOTHING.

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Hilf Mir

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

September 2nd, 2007
01:26 am
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(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

September 1st, 2007
12:45 pm
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sorrow.
 

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: violin

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

June 27th, 2007
09:49 pm
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ouch

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

June 26th, 2007
07:26 pm
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Marshland woods



I have been here far too long
In this lonesome, twisted land

Current Mood: cold

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

April 21st, 2007
09:02 am
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Marshland (Addenseo)

(You sawGo Beyondit all)

February 24th, 2007
01:38 am
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هذا في العربية

أنا أرتدي مجوهراته

Current Location: home
Current Music: Godsmack

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

February 6th, 2007
04:47 pm
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Yes, I was doing so good until I ate those cheese crackers

Current Location: library
Current Mood: regretful
Current Music: Last Fucking Time- MSI

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

January 28th, 2007
09:10 pm
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What do you call this...
Someone who's afraid to take on something new and break away from their normal routines? When they are hindered from trying out new stuff in life because of their fear of doing different, unusedto stuff? Agenuine fear, one that eats at your stomach and lightens your heart and makes you CRINGE just to GO BACK HOME and be where you know you're SAFE?
What do you call that?

Current Location: home
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: KORN- Freak on a Leash

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

12:13 am
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coffeeshop blues
Sadness tonight. And I don't know why. Again.
Though Saturday Night Live did make me laugh. 

Stayed really late at the coffeeshop tonight. Some females next to me were talking feminism and women power. One of them declared a revolution. Too much irish coffee?

And the dude who always comes in there at near to closing time to read and sit and talk to himself very loudly came in 30 minutes prior to eleven. Made a mockery of the guy outside on his cellphone, who was talking as loud as he could, to draw attention. How do people become like this. I hope to god that I don't ever. If I knew how then I'd avoid it at all efforts. But then again, maybe it cannot be avoided, and we are inevitable to it, like weight gain as we get older. 
He made us laugh. I and the 2 women next to me. Later they told me they were sisters. They had the exact same haircuts and I realized they were identical twins. Freaky. Things like that always scare me... what is it like to have someone who looks exactly like you? Doesn't that make you less of an individual person outwardly (by appearence?). I guess this should be thought of when considering people with Down's syndrome. I'm horrible. 

Current Location: home
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Royally Fucked- Take a wild guess

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

January 25th, 2007
04:43 pm
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Why do I get so attached to people so quickly?

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

04:24 pm
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Weirdos at the library
There are some freakin weirdos who work at this library. 
I mean, I know I myself am a weirdo, but I'm not oblivious to it. 
With them it's like they cannot even see it. 
I can't wait to get the hell out of this city.

Current Location: downtown library
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Cocaine and Toupees- MSI (!)

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

January 23rd, 2007
10:05 pm
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(sigh)

Why do they always have to be... Christian

Current Location: home
Current Mood: disappointed

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

04:52 pm
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When you speak little, you are noticed more when you do speak

(You sawGo Beyondit all)

04:16 pm
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The addiction... the fucking addiction

And what if you are 18 and still fucked up but making slow progress?
Does this mean you won't qualify for social counseling as a lifetime career?

Current Mood: crazy

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

January 22nd, 2007
08:53 pm
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... I could've been someone instead of falling flat upon my ass

Current Location: home
Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Faggot- MSI

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

08:48 am
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Did you always want to grow up to be nothing but a little consumer?

Current Location: home
Current Mood: disappointed

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

12:10 am
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Heavy Metal

I've been awake for 3 days. I can't remember if I possibly dozed off for a few here and there... I do remember some small bouts of "lost time" I had.
 Today was amazing, even though the coffee did not get me high like it does when I have a long fast from it. But I did have some kind of altered consciousness today, for unknown reasons. 
Maybe because I've started to meditate again, and started taking the St John's Wort again because I know the source of my breakout now. 
To say in a good way: I don't know what's happening to me. 
It's just lately I've been feeling quite strange. Actually, always has. I'd love to say that it's all in my head, but... it probably is (haha). 
Damn you Pan. 

Anyway, today I went to the bookstore to look for some books on writing style and grammar (referance). I am not a writer until I learn how to improve my style more, because I obviously need some more education on the deliverance of my work and the lesser use of fragments in sentences. I am not a quick learner with anything, but it was like after looking through the 2 books I got I made the tedious, depressing decision to re-write all of which I'd worked on for the past few months. Sitting down to do just that, I was overblown by what BAD writing I'd done in the first paragraph on the story, quite a bit embarassed actually, but the revision was MUCH better. To say the least, the books are hellping me a lot. 

I use the word "had" too much in my novels. 
He had never seen the sunset before this day....
She had the least amount of time to deal with the arguments he implied.
HAD HAD HAD HAD HAAAAD...
god awful writing. I HATE repetitional words... 

Rented The Lawnmower Man and was deceived by the "free" (bullshit) encyclopedia WIKIPEDIA. Never again, never again, never again, never again will I trust this godawful site. What they claimed about the movie was so false I was disappointed after it ended because my expectations were not met. And the movie sucked anyway.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Harry Truman- MSI

(You sawGo Beyondit all)

January 21st, 2007
12:42 am
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No.

I want to have the imagination of a child again.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: Mortiis

(You sawWhy did you go there? | Go Beyondit all)

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